Tag Archives: frustrated

52 Steps to Health – Step 10: Embrace the difficult

“I want to get healthy, but I don’t like vegetables.”

“I hear yoga is really good for you, but I’m not that flexible”

“I want to take Zumba at the gym, but I don’t want to look like an idiot in front of others.”

Every positive thing in life comes with something negative. As Seth Godin once wrote, “You don’t get to just do the good parts.”

Of course. :)

Sometimes it seems like every time things in life start to feel ok (or even awesome) there is something else to push through or work towards or fight to overcome. What’s worse is the difficult always leaves this awful, uncomfortable, “dread” feeling that is sometimes difficult to shake. Some people (most?) avoid that feeling as much as they can.

There is another approach, however, that is better than avoidance, better than fighting, and better than waiting for something difficult to go away.

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The Step:

Embrace the difficult.

How:

  1. Chose something difficult that’s happening in your life (or something difficult you’d like to try)
  2. Chose a time and/or place THIS WEEK to get the thing done and commit to it: Put it on your calendar, make a mental note, ask a friend to go with you, etc.
  3. Decide how you’re going to EMBRACE the awful, uncomfortable, “dread” feeling:
  • If you’re going to your first ever Zumba class and dread looking like a complete fool, find a tutu or a pair of polka dot knee socks and embrace the dread!
  • If you’ve been avoiding your taxes because you dread how much money you owe, make a date with your significant other and battle it together. Set up some healthy snacks, some good music and reward yourselves when you’re finished.
  • If you hate vegetables (and/or hate to cook) plan a new meal with ingredients you’d like to try. Look up new recipes  buy yourself cool new tools for the kitchen, put on some music, invite friends over and make it an event.
  • Having a problem at work? Be proactive and talk to someone about it over a cup of coffee on you. Remember to stay professional when you explain the situation and ask for help.

This week I challenge you to EMBRACE THE DIFFICULT.

I’ll be embracing it by (finally) doing my taxes this week and giving myself some sort of awesome reward. Hmmmmm. What should it be?

P.S. If you’re just joining us, read all about 52 weeks, 52 steps here. You can get caught up on all the steps here  and If you’d like to your weekly step in your inbox sign up for a subscription to my blog!

Rant: Don’t make assumptions about my health

Posted by Shelli Martineau in Things I've Learned and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

This weekend I was the victim of an assumer.

I hate assumers.

Here’s the story:

As you may know, I’m training for the Seattle to Portland Bicycle Classic. That’s 200 miles of butt-numbing, pedal-pushing, hill-climbing work! To get ready for the big event, I decided to sign up for a training series and this weekend they held a “pre-ride” to help people who are still new to cycling and group riding get ready for the miles and miles ahead.

This wasn’t my first group ride, but I was still very nervous. I always get nervous before things like this. I worry:

  • I’m too slow (I’m not).
  • I won’t make it up hills (I usually do).
  • I don’t have the right gear (I really just need new shoes and possibly a jacket).
  • I don’t know anyone there (I’m getting to know people).
  • Etc. etc. etc.

The first group ride I did the weekend before last was great. Cycling people are friendly and I did a little over 26 miles, climbed every hill on my bike, and finished like a champ. It was an amazing uplifting experience, so I went into this weekend looking for more of the same.

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Things started off great.

I tried to stay close to the leader (which I did successfully for over 15 miles) until we got to the hills. I knew I’d be slow, so I just gave myself a mental break and took my time pedaling up as best I could. When we hit the hills I noticed our group was pretty evenly divided: There were people who could stay with the leader and people who could not. For most of the hills I was smack-dab in the middle. People were passing me and keeping up with the leader, but I was also so far ahead of the people behind me I couldn’t even see them after awhile. I was squarely in the middle of the pack and often found myself alone.

At around mile 18 we lost the group of people who were behind me (they took the route we were supposed to take) and we encountered a big, big hill that wasn’t on the original route plan. It was so big I had to get off and push my bike up it. I was embarrassed, but I told myself I was still getting stronger and had made it 18 miles through hilly terrain so I needn’t worry about it. Plus, there were a few  lighter people pushing right along side me.

When we got to the top of the hill the group leader told us about losing the people behind us and let us know we picked up a new sweeper (group leader who would be at the back).

That’s when the assuming started.

The new sweeper immediately started to talk with me. I think she needed a project or someone to help (but, hey, I’m just assuming…). She told me to unzip my jacket because I looked hot. Yes, TOLD me. She also TOLD me to roll up my sleeves.

Then we started off again and she stayed near me asking me all sorts of questions. When as we started up another hill she yelled at me, “Get into a lower gear!”

I looked down at my bike.

“I AM in a low gear.”

I was confused. Did she see something I didn’t? Am I doing this wrong?

I was admittedly feeling rather defensive because I had to walk up the last big hill, but I continued to pedal, slowly puffing up the hill, determined to make it and she started asking me really rude questions and giving me advice.

“You really need bike shoes, it looks like your feet are really working” (I’ve known this for awhile and have been waiting to buy clipless shoes until I’m sure I’m ready for them).

“Is your bike steel or carbon fiber?” (Steel frames are heavy, Carbon fiber is much lighter. I found myself wondering why she was even asking this. I told her it was aluminum and she butted in with “Well, your fork is carbon fiber” — Which I know and was going to tell her).

“You know, it’s easier if you stay up by the leaders. The people back here have to peddle harder to catch up” — “Uh, yeah, I fell behind“

“Do you ever get a chance to do cardio during the week?”

At this point I teared up…

…and actually felt my throat close up as I fought tears. My determined mindset was shattered and I became an insecure self-doubting mess. I couldn’t believe this woman. She has absolutely no idea what I’ve been doing with myself. She has no idea that I’m probably in the gym more than her (again, I assume), that I’ve lost 70 pounds, that I’m aware of the gear I need to get, that I know my bike and I certainly don’t need “helpful” commentary and condescending interrogation).

I tried my best to calm down before responding to her that, yes, I go to Group Kick at the gym.. (“What’s that???” She asks).

This is when I started to consider confronting her.

I wanted to say, “I know you’re trying to help, but what you’re doing is actually really insulting. I’m doing just fine, thanks.”

But, I didn’t because I knew I was feeling defensive and not in the position to make a thoughtful, well-reasoned response.

Instead, as soon as we were passed the hill and I caught my breath I got away from that woman. I pedaled hard to get as far ahead of her as possible. Then I tried to calm myself down and play devils advocate. I heard my husband’s voice in my head:

  • She thought she was helping.
  • I was just feeling defensive.

But, all I could really think was, she assumed that because I was big, was struggling up the hills, and didn’t have the right shoes I needed her advice. 

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The more I think about it the more angry I become, and the more I wish I would’ve confronted this woman. Instead, I’m writing this rant for everyone to read:

Don’t assume and don’t assert your fitness and health “wisdom” where it isn’t requested. A person’s outward appearance is no indication of their health, their knowledge, and/or their determination. Unsolicited “helpful advice” can actually be quite harmful to a person’s self esteem, not to mention rather insulting. Do me and everyone else a favor, and keep it to yourself unless we ask for it.

Is this too much to ask?

It’s not fair.

Posted by Shelli Martineau in Things I've Learned and tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

You……

work harder than everyone else.
eat salad when everyone else has pizza. Every single weekend.
were born with these genes.
have to stay vigilant in order to make changes.
don’t have time to exercise.
weren’t educated about health.
*r spouse sleeps in.
*r friends can eat what they like.
lose weight so much slower than everyone else.
gain weight too easily.
can’t gain weight.
have to watch what you eat.
have a job where you sit all day.
are so overweight exercise is especially difficult for you.
weren’t brought up in a healthy household.
have to try at health every single day.

You’re right, it’s not fair.

So, what are you going to do about it?

24 Hour Fitness erased my facebook comment

Posted by Shelli Martineau in The Year of No Fear and tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

The social media equivalent of turning a cold shoulder is what happened to me when I reached out to my gym on Facebook with an honest, heart-felt, complaint.

You see, I’ve been going to this new class for the past month and I have been really enjoying it. In fact, I’ve enjoyed it so much I skipped yoga for it. Which, I assure you, is a big deal. The class was simple and reminded me a lot of the Crossfit gym I was briefly a member of (before it got too expensive). It was called “Functional Training” which essentially means, “you go, you work really hard on circuits set out for you by an awesome trainer, you leave completely sweaty and totally proud of yourself.” It was much more difficult than body pump and felt like a real challenge (which is always what I’m after).

I liked this class so much I told my friends about it – I told everyone who would listen about it – and I even was tried convincing people to either join my gym or switch gyms so that they could do it with me. But the membership after one month was small; only 3-4 of us showed up regularly. In my mind I knew it was only a matter of time until others discovered the awesomeness and the class would be packed. I mean, when I was in the class the comments I heard were:

“This is a great class!”
“You need to offer more classes like this.”
“Can you do this class at different times of the day?”

I think the low attendance was really just about the time of day.

But, yesterday when I went to spend time sweating in my amazing new class, the trainer told us it was canceled due to “not enough participation” and that they had canceled “every 4:30 class at lots of gyms” for the same reason.” He proceeded to have a “just for fun” class with us which I really respected and appreciated. That’s something a great trainer does.

…and the gym taking that class and that trainer away made me really mad.

It seems the bottom line for this gym is the bottom line and one month is all a new class gets to determine whether it’s worthy or not. But I don’t see how you can make more money, get more gym members, and improve your business by offering your gym members less.

So, of course, being the computer geek that I am, I complained on their Facebook page. I can’t remember exactly what I wrote but it went something like this,

“Really disappointed you canceled Functional Training class. Quit trying to sell us vitamins and give us what we really want. You don’t get more clients by offering less”

See, they really only use their Facebook Page to sell us vitamins, training, and membership and it was much easier for them to respond to my comment with a simple “delete” than by addressing my actual issue.

They didn’t have a problem answering my bike rack question, though:

Please note: There still isn’t a bike rack.

So now, I’m sitting here without resolution and I’m a little pissed off. So pissed I’m thinking of switching gyms, again. The reason I left my last gym was (ironically) the same problem I had with this one: problems with classes, the fact that the gym doesn’t respond to or address my questions and challenges in an acceptable or satisfying way, and the lack of community or caring.

And, I leave gyms like this one because I KNOW gyms can provide these things. I saw it at the awesome CrossFit gym I couldn’t really afford and Planet Fitness claims to be able to do it on the cheap. So why is it every other gym seems to be lacking? For me the gym shouldn’t just be the box you drag yourself to for an hour a day — they should offer much, much more.

What do you expect from your gym?

7 Ways to Get Over a Weight Loss Plateau

Posted by Shelli Martineau in Guest Post and tagged with , , , , , , ,

This is a guest post written by Caitlin Heikkila, a Weight Loss Community Manager at Everyday Health.

Almost everyone who has been on a weight loss journey has experienced the plateau. You’re consistently losing weight for weeks, and then you hit a wall: the weight loss plateau. You feel like you’re doing everything right and staying on track, so how do you get past it?

Here are seven ways to break through that wall and get over that plateau to reach your goals.

1. Keep a food journal. If you aren’t already, start writing down everything that you eat. I mean everything. The journal will keep you accountable to your goals and you’ll be able to see exactly where those extra calories are sneaking in.

2. Don’t skip meals. Eating less isn’t always a good thing. Skipping meals can slow down your metabolism, and since you’ll be so hungry, you will be more likely to overeat at your next meal.

3. Find Support. When you have someone working with you to complete your goal, you will be more likely to stick with it. Plus, it’s a great way to learn how others are losing weight. Check out this group to find diet buddies.

4. Mix it up! If you’re doing the same workout routine all the time, your body won’t feel challenged. Try a new class, rev up the intensity, or try interval training for something different.

5. Measure portions carefully. If you’re estimating portion sizes, you may be consuming more calories than you think. Use measuring cups and spoons and invest in a scale if you can to make sure you’re eating the right servings.

6. Drink Water. If you’re dehydrated, you may be retaining water. Keep a water bottle at your side at all times. Replace soda and fruit juice with water.

7. Move more. Find little times in the day to get moving? Whether taking the stairs, parking far away from the market, walking to work, or doing squats and crunches while you watch TV, these small steps can pay off big time.

Stay positive and patient with yourself— you’ll be off the plateau in no time.