Just discovered DoYogaWithMe.com and tried out one of their audios so I could stretch out outside.

I’m already a fan.

• black/white
• less/more 
• right/wrong
• go to the gym/stay home
• etc.

If you’re going to do something why not do it all the way, right?

Last week I turned 30 and I have to admit I spent the whole week celebrating. My reasoning: well, I started the week eating unhealthy stuff and have so many parties and social things to do I might as well just keep eating bad the whole week….

So I presented myself with choices like:

• Write another blog post or relax.
• Eat a brownie or have no dessert at all.
• Go to Starbucks or having nothing for breakfast.

I know, I know. Not the smartest decisions, but I know I’m not the only one who is guilty of all or nothing thinking. When I was learning to be a teacher at the University of Montana a professor told me something I’ll never forget: Many student teachers make the mistake of giving their students ultimatums. For example, “Do your work or go to the Principal’s office.” Obviously, the student teacher immediately laments their decision to give the student a choice when students dig in their heels and chooses the Principal.

My professor suggested that we avoid this by never giving students a choice we don’t want them to make. All or nothing decisions can end badly (students in the Principal’s office aren’t studying) and they are ultimately unnecessary. Instead, a smart teacher will do what quizzes, polls and surveys often do. Present you with a few unappealing choices (all of which will result in something good) and let you pick the path that sucks the least for you. For example, “Read a chapter from the book or write in your journal for 15 minutes.” Neither is appealing to a stubborn student, but given the choice, they may prefer one more than another.

I’m not going to go into WHY I think people tend to think in dichotomies, but this morning I propose using a brilliant mental ‘trick’ to help yourself avoid all or nothing thinking.

The Step:

Trick yourself into changing your choices.

Here’s How to Do It:

1. Consider the “bad” and/or extreme decisions you make often that you’d like to change.
2. Think about alternatives you can give yourself.
3. The next time you need to make a decision, pay attention to your thoughts.
4. If you’re giving yourself a “good vs bad” type choice, change the decision from “good vs. bad” and give yourself a few choices you dislike. For example, instead of: Eat ice cream or have nothing for dessert; make the choice: Have fruit or yogurt for dessert.
5. Stick with your decision. You’ve picked something you don’t want to do the hardest part is to dig in your heels and really commit to your decision.
6. Pat yourself on the back if you go through with it. If you don’t go through with it think about why this might be and try again.
7. Practice! The best way to get better at good decision making is by doing it over and over again. Keep at it.

Don’t forget to let me know how it goes too!

If you’re just joining us,  you can get caught up on all the steps here and If you’d like to your weekly step in your inbox sign up for a subscription to my blog in the sidebar!

“In just one year, watch how making small investments or spending habit adjustments will implement lasting benefits in your lifestyle.”

It struck me that the same is clearly true for our health: Making small, healthy changes to one’s life can pay massive dividends in the future. So, since I’m not a fan of making goals for other people, I thought I’d set down this step as a challenge.

The Step:

Write a list of things of 10 actions that you can finish (soon) that will make you proud in one year’s time and do them.

How:

1. Commit to writing your list this week.
2. Set a reminder so you don’t forget!
3. Write items that will have a lasting effect (For example, I wrote “Clean my office,” but, let’s face it, it will be dirty before the month is out, and I won’t have a lasting sense of pride).
4. When you are finished with your list, re-examine each item. Ask yourself, “will I be proud of this accomplishment in a year?“
5. Print your list and/or post it where you can see it.
6. Make a plan for completing each item before 12/31/2013.
7. GO!

Bonus: Here’s my list!

1. Train for, and complete, the Seattle to Portland Bicycle Classic.
2. Read I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi.
3. Start reading more about personal finance and revisit my budgeting system.
4. Create a tradition with my best friend: Schedule an annual girl’s trip.
5. Actually plant something in our garden.
6. Clean out my closets (again) and donate the unwanted clothes to charity.
7. Get my blogs on a proper host.
8. Set-up automatic savings for my retirement.
9. Take a vacation with hubs this summer.
10. Start making all my lunches (no pre-made meals because I’m in a hurry).

As you can see, not all my list items are “health” items per se…. (Although, one could argue that mental and financial health go a long way towards physical health as well). After you’re finished with your list SHARE IT WITH ME by leaving a comment. I’d love to see what you guys are working on.

P.S. If you’re just joining us, read all about 52 weeks, 52 steps here.

“I want to get healthy, but I don’t like vegetables.”

“I hear yoga is really good for you, but I’m not that flexible”

“I want to take Zumba at the gym, but I don’t want to look like an idiot in front of others.”

Every positive thing in life comes with something negative. As Seth Godin once wrote, “You don’t get to just do the good parts.”

Of course.

Sometimes it seems like every time things in life start to feel ok (or even awesome) there is something else to push through or work towards or fight to overcome. What’s worse is the difficult always leaves this awful, uncomfortable, “dread” feeling that is sometimes difficult to shake. Some people (most?) avoid that feeling as much as they can.

There is another approach, however, that is better than avoidance, better than fighting, and better than waiting for something difficult to go away.

The Step:

Embrace the difficult.

How:

1. Chose something difficult that’s happening in your life (or something difficult you’d like to try)
2. Chose a time and/or place THIS WEEK to get the thing done and commit to it: Put it on your calendar, make a mental note, ask a friend to go with you, etc.
3. Decide how you’re going to EMBRACE the awful, uncomfortable, “dread” feeling:

• If you’re going to your first ever Zumba class and dread looking like a complete fool, find a tutu or a pair of polka dot knee socks and embrace the dread!
• If you’ve been avoiding your taxes because you dread how much money you owe, make a date with your significant other and battle it together. Set up some healthy snacks, some good music and reward yourselves when you’re finished.
• If you hate vegetables (and/or hate to cook) plan a new meal with ingredients you’d like to try. Look up new recipes  buy yourself cool new tools for the kitchen, put on some music, invite friends over and make it an event.
• Having a problem at work? Be proactive and talk to someone about it over a cup of coffee on you. Remember to stay professional when you explain the situation and ask for help.

This week I challenge you to EMBRACE THE DIFFICULT.

I’ll be embracing it by (finally) doing my taxes this week and giving myself some sort of awesome reward. Hmmmmm. What should it be?

P.S. If you’re just joining us, read all about 52 weeks, 52 steps here. You can get caught up on all the steps here  and If you’d like to your weekly step in your inbox sign up for a subscription to my blog!

A friend and I went on a short bike ride today and this was the first time she’s been on a bike since High School (she is now into her 50′s)!

Her fear, nervousness and trepidation before the ride paired with her surprise during the ride and her genuine joy after the ride made the experience positive and overwhelmingly cool.

I loved hearing her making plans and setting goals..

“I wonder if I’ll be able to ride my bike to work this summer….”

It was like holding up a mirror, and I wanted to tell her she could do anything.

To me it was proof of our power as ordinary people — even when we’re sure something will be too challenging or difficult or scary or impossible. She did it and it was amazing to witness.

But what happens once you’ve put your own mask on?

If you’re up for it, you help those around you.

Now that you’ve been taking steps towards health for 9+ weeks it might be time for you to look around and pass on some good, healthy habits. In fact, you may already be helping others. If you cook for your family, they might already be eating better; if you’re taking regular walks, you may have coerced a person or two into joining you; and if you’re visiting the gym regularly, you might have unknowingly inspiring others who have witnessed your determination.

If any of the above are true then you know: When you help others, you help yourself.

After be the victim of someone elses attempt to help last week, I thought this week I’d like to encourage you to help someone in way that doesn’t actually harm them

The Step:

Help someone this week.

How:

First, consider the following:

• Your heart should be in it. Don’t “help” someone begrudgingly or because you think you should. Examine your intentions and your motivation.
• Don’t assume people want or need your help.
• Help, don’t harm.

Here are some ideas for helping in a positive way:

• Share your story with no one in particular (don’t focus it on one person). Start a blog, an Instagram feed, or a Twitter account and get the word out there.
• Cook a healthy meal for a group of people that you love.
• Volunteer your time to a cause that promotes health.
• Invite friends out for a walk or to a class at the gym.
• Give someone a call and ask them what they’re up to.
• Find someone who is interested in going to the gym regularly and ask them if you can motivate each other.

Do you have other ways to help without harming? I’d love to hear them!

I hate assumers.

Here’s the story:

As you may know, I’m training for the Seattle to Portland Bicycle Classic. That’s 200 miles of butt-numbing, pedal-pushing, hill-climbing work! To get ready for the big event, I decided to sign up for a training series and this weekend they held a “pre-ride” to help people who are still new to cycling and group riding get ready for the miles and miles ahead.

This wasn’t my first group ride, but I was still very nervous. I always get nervous before things like this. I worry:

• I’m too slow (I’m not).
• I won’t make it up hills (I usually do).
• I don’t have the right gear (I really just need new shoes and possibly a jacket).
• I don’t know anyone there (I’m getting to know people).
• Etc. etc. etc.

The first group ride I did the weekend before last was great. Cycling people are friendly and I did a little over 26 miles, climbed every hill on my bike, and finished like a champ. It was an amazing uplifting experience, so I went into this weekend looking for more of the same.

Things started off great.

I tried to stay close to the leader (which I did successfully for over 15 miles) until we got to the hills. I knew I’d be slow, so I just gave myself a mental break and took my time pedaling up as best I could. When we hit the hills I noticed our group was pretty evenly divided: There were people who could stay with the leader and people who could not. For most of the hills I was smack-dab in the middle. People were passing me and keeping up with the leader, but I was also so far ahead of the people behind me I couldn’t even see them after awhile. I was squarely in the middle of the pack and often found myself alone.

At around mile 18 we lost the group of people who were behind me (they took the route we were supposed to take) and we encountered a big, big hill that wasn’t on the original route plan. It was so big I had to get off and push my bike up it. I was embarrassed, but I told myself I was still getting stronger and had made it 18 miles through hilly terrain so I needn’t worry about it. Plus, there were a few  lighter people pushing right along side me.

When we got to the top of the hill the group leader told us about losing the people behind us and let us know we picked up a new sweeper (group leader who would be at the back).

That’s when the assuming started.

The new sweeper immediately started to talk with me. I think she needed a project or someone to help (but, hey, I’m just assuming…). She told me to unzip my jacket because I looked hot. Yes, TOLD me. She also TOLD me to roll up my sleeves.

Then we started off again and she stayed near me asking me all sorts of questions. When as we started up another hill she yelled at me, “Get into a lower gear!”

I looked down at my bike.

“I AM in a low gear.”

I was confused. Did she see something I didn’t? Am I doing this wrong?

I was admittedly feeling rather defensive because I had to walk up the last big hill, but I continued to pedal, slowly puffing up the hill, determined to make it and she started asking me really rude questions and giving me advice.

“You really need bike shoes, it looks like your feet are really working” (I’ve known this for awhile and have been waiting to buy clipless shoes until I’m sure I’m ready for them).

“Is your bike steel or carbon fiber?” (Steel frames are heavy, Carbon fiber is much lighter. I found myself wondering why she was even asking this. I told her it was aluminum and she butted in with “Well, your fork is carbon fiber” — Which I know and was going to tell her).

“You know, it’s easier if you stay up by the leaders. The people back here have to peddle harder to catch up” — “Uh, yeah, I fell behind“

“Do you ever get a chance to do cardio during the week?”

At this point I teared up…

…and actually felt my throat close up as I fought tears. My determined mindset was shattered and I became an insecure self-doubting mess. I couldn’t believe this woman. She has absolutely no idea what I’ve been doing with myself. She has no idea that I’m probably in the gym more than her (again, I assume), that I’ve lost 70 pounds, that I’m aware of the gear I need to get, that I know my bike and I certainly don’t need “helpful” commentary and condescending interrogation).

I tried my best to calm down before responding to her that, yes, I go to Group Kick at the gym.. (“What’s that???” She asks).

This is when I started to consider confronting her.

I wanted to say, “I know you’re trying to help, but what you’re doing is actually really insulting. I’m doing just fine, thanks.”

But, I didn’t because I knew I was feeling defensive and not in the position to make a thoughtful, well-reasoned response.

Instead, as soon as we were passed the hill and I caught my breath I got away from that woman. I pedaled hard to get as far ahead of her as possible. Then I tried to calm myself down and play devils advocate. I heard my husband’s voice in my head:

• She thought she was helping.
• I was just feeling defensive.

But, all I could really think was, she assumed that because I was big, was struggling up the hills, and didn’t have the right shoes I needed her advice. 

The more I think about it the more angry I become, and the more I wish I would’ve confronted this woman. Instead, I’m writing this rant for everyone to read:

Don’t assume and don’t assert your fitness and health “wisdom” where it isn’t requested. A person’s outward appearance is no indication of their health, their knowledge, and/or their determination. Unsolicited “helpful advice” can actually be quite harmful to a person’s self esteem, not to mention rather insulting. Do me and everyone else a favor, and keep it to yourself unless we ask for it.

Is this too much to ask?

While I can’t tell you what’s right or wrong in terms of your diet and your body, I can say that I feel healthier, lighter, and more satisfied when I have fruits and/or veggies with every meal.

The Step:

Eat fruits and/or vegetables with every meal and snack.

How:

1. Commit to the challenge of eating a fruit and/or vegetable with every meal or snack
2. Spend today finding new recipes that include fruits and veggies you love and would like to try.
3. Make a list and go shopping for your favorite fruits and veggies. Make sure you have enough fresh produce for the next few days.
4. Pick a trigger that will remind you to eat a fruit or veggie with every meal or snack. For example:

• Keep an apple or banana at your desk.
• Stock up your fridge with ready-to-eat carrot slices.
• Plan a new meal that sounds yummy and exciting.
• Start each meal or snack with your fruit and veggies and then move on to the other stuff you have prepared.

Good luck!

P.S. Are you participating in 52 weeks, 52 steps? How is it going?

P.P.S. If you’re just joining us, you can read all about 52 weeks, 52 steps and get caught up on all the steps here. If you’d like to your weekly step in your inbox sign up for a subscription to my blog here.

The Step:

Know and be ready for how you’re going to be healthy tomorrow.

How:

1. Commit to planning ahead each day this week.
2. Pick a time or a moment in your day that you can set aside for planning.
3. Set a reminder (or mental note) and commit to preplanning.
4. When planning ahead, consider the following:

Look at your calendar: When do you have time to exercise (even if it’s just a 5 minute walk)?

What will you need for the activity you have planned?

Pack your waterbottle, spare clothes, shoes and whatever else you might need for tomorrow.

What meals will you prepare tomorrow? What will you need for your healthy meals?

Go shopping and/or batch cook some healthy staples ahead of time.

That’s it! Personally I find this to be a particularly hard step and am going to be working hard at it all week. I started last night by recommitting to my healthy diet, setting some small, easy to achieve goals and making a plan for today (Step #1 – write a blog post, hee hee). Wish me luck!

P.S. Are you participating in 52 weeks, 52 steps? How is it going?

P.P.S. If you’re just joining us, you can read all about 52 weeks, 52 steps and get caught up on all the steps here. If you’d like to your weekly step in your inbox sign up for a subscription to my blog here.